Friday, March 13, 2015

Mac's Quotes as a 3 year old

-I need a napkin for my burp.
-I need to flush my fart.
-Daddy’s truck stinks because he farts in it. 
-Look at my weewee
-Let me tell you the ingredients.
-Mommy, I go to sleep now. I see my friends at Miss Erica's tomorrow. Turn light off.
-I don't want you to sneeze or have boogers, Mommy. I bring you my animals and check on you later.
-Mommy, I bring you flowers.
-Daddy, I am Mommy’s zookeeper. 
-That’s not a hamburger, that’s a Bubba Burger.
-It smells like a fart, excuse you daddy.
-Look at my weewee dance.  

-Me: Mac, did you fall on your forehead?
Mac: No, I fall on my face.

-I poop like Frankenstein.
-I not poop.  I too busy.

-Sales Lady: What are you going to name your dinosaur?
Mac: I burped. 

-Don’t fix me.  I’m not broken.
-My butt fart on Mommy’s hand. 
-My booty looks like a butt.
-Mommy, I like your big belly. I want to take a picture of your big belly.
-Mommy, you are the best mommy in the world.

Mac: Amy, skunks smell bad.
Miss Amy: They do?
Mac: Yea and bears, too.
Miss Amy: Really?  Bears too?  Why do bears smell bad?
Mac: Cuz they farts.

-You need to be awake and not adorable.  You promise not to be adorable?
-Mommy, you made mess.  You don’t make mess or else Daddy will spank you and you will get in trouble. 
-I don't want a baby suit, I want a boy suit.
-I want a wench.
-I don't chew, I eat. 
-Goodmama, you don't go outside with toes and feet. You wear mommy’s crocs.
-It's time for the poop show
-Mommy, say “ready, steady, poop!”
-Fart with your mouth closed.
-Mommy, I like your face. 
-I like your weewee. 
-I need a haircut because my hair has hair balls on it.
-I farted in my bed. It's easier to fart in your bed, daddy.
-I like baby Nora's rip on her belly button.
-Nora doesn't have hair, papa mike doesn't have hair, only me moe moe, mommy, good momma have hair.
-My room is adorable and not at all messy.
-Mommy, my heart is loud
-See? My belly does roll.
-I'm a go getter
-I got stuck on flamingo's head.
-When I'm bigger and my head is bigger, I will get more muffins.
-I made a big poop like a banana.
-Daddy, what the good gracious?
-I want to snuggle you, mommy. Daddy likes to snuggle your boobs.
-Can I burp her? I want to make her burp.
-Mommy, can I fart again?
-My butt hurts because I have to poop.
-It's my funny super sock.
-I need two hands for a squeeze squeeze.
-Can I tell you a story?
-When I had to take a bath with pizza and jelly, I got so stinky with farts and poops and pees.
-When daddy had a pull-up, he pooped in it and I had to clean him.
-Mommy you're my girl.
-No god blesses today, maybe tomorrow.
-Mommy, I am not big, I am growing big.
-My tummy is upset because my butt can't poop.
-Follow me kiddos.
-Daddy, my butt is saying I have to poop.
-I am going do a big fat poop out of my butt.
-My butt is out of poop.
-No God bless Mac. I'm already blessed.
-Did you fart? I gotta pull your finger!
-Boys are not 'dults.
-Mommy, do you like my epidermis?
-Mosquitos whine in people's ears and I don't know why.
-Mommy, you're right. I smell bad.
-Look at my big knoggin. It's growing bigger.
-We do this together, that's teamwork.
-When we build a snowman, will he run away at night?
-Mommy, you made me happy when I was sad by snuggling me.
-When my baby was in your tummy, you went to the doctor and she jumped out of your belly.
-Spanking is bad because it hurts my underwear.
-Daddy, when I get home from Erica’s can I clean my room?
-I don't like my fuzzy hair.
-I smelled her making poop.
-I am hiding my shot in your butt.
-I give my family shots because I am a doctor.
-When I was sleeping, there was sausage walking on my head.
-Tas, enough about the sloppy joes.

Why do foxes like to breathe?
Because they have underwears.

-Goodmama, I peed off a cliff!
-You can't eat me because I'm cute. I won't fit in your belly. Daddy would punch me out of your belly and then you won't be a monster anymore.
-Nora is now part of our family.
-Mommy, I don't want to be bad anymore.
-While holding Nora: can someone get this?
-I like to eat bubbles.
-I didn't fart. It's not my flavor.
-Daddy, i don't like that idea. It's not my favorite idea.
-Daddy I don't know how to sleep.
-I can't breathe because my lungs are too big.
-My face hurts because I have muscles in my body.
-Cars eat traffic lights for breakfast. That's a joke.
-Daddy, I see your booty crack.
-Mommy, your snuggles fix my heart.
-I got my big lips from the lip store. If you don't have big lips, you should buy some.

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