Surgery & House

It's official.  My surgery is October 21st at 7:30 in the morning with a 6:30 check in.  It is an outpatient procedure and the surgery will probably take a couple of hours.

Today, we were out shopping and looking at different things.  I was in the store Aerie and they have AWESOME lounge wear type clothes.  I am probably going to need to go invest in loungewear clothes for after my surgery.  I bet Old Navy probably has some too but Aerie is just so stinking cute!

While we were out today, we ran by Bell's Nursery (which is a local garden center).  We stocked up on Tulips and Hyacinths bulbs to plant now so they will bloom in the spring.  We planted them in the long planter that is down the side of our front porch.  I really hope they turn out in the Spring because that would just be gorgeous!!!!!

So obviously the kids are napping because we are actually able to get things done!  Joe is currently at Lowes to see if we can find a glass door for our fireplace.  It hasn't gotten above 45 today and winter is definitely on its way.  With having Nora on the floor, we need to make sure that our fireplace is safer.

When we had that giant earthquake the other day, I was REALLY hoping to come home to find our fence knocked over. We have earthquake insurance on our house and I really really really really want a new fence.  Like badly.  It was still up.  Super wobbly.  Then when we had the second earthquake (that one was a 5.2 last night about 8 or 9), I was really hoping that it would get knocked over but nope.  Just super super wobbly.

Moment of Truth

Today, I had another moment of truth.  I got up pretty nervous.  I was so nervous that I didn't want to eat and I started sweating (awesome).  I think the worst part of having the moment of truth is waiting for the moment of truth to actually happen.

This is the third time I have had to experience the moment of truth.  The first time was in 2009 when I was diagnosed with Endometriosis and had a following surgery to remove a rather large Endometrioma (chocolate cyst-don't google it...trust me).  The second moment of truth was in 2012 when I had another rather large Endometrioma that had ruptured and caused me to bleed internally for a week.  Good stuff.  And now...I am back to another moment of truth.

I have had some pretty bad pain lately and bizarre bleeding.  I had scans done and the good news is that I don't have another Endometrioma.  Bad news is that my ovary is stuck to some random organ in my body.  Originally, my doctor said pending the results from the scans I had two options: a clean up surgery and/or an injection called Lupron that essentially makes my token ovary hibernate.  In all honesty, I have always known that  I was going to have to have another surgery.  And the doctor gave me that news this morning.  I will be having another laparoscopic surgery where they will try to clean up all of my adhesions and they will unstick my ovary.  Sound like fun yet?  Oh and while they are in there, they are going to shoot dye up into my token Fallopian Tube to see if it is still functioning correctly to my ovary.  Now it's a party!

Sometimes I struggle greatly.  I am constantly in pain.  If you ever hear me complain about being in pain than it has reached a pretty extreme level.  Trying to maintain a strong, bubbly, happy output is so incredibly difficult and draining.  I have moments where I crumble and I just get so incredibly sick of dealing with this.  Other times, I realize that I have to just laugh through it and use humor to deal with the pain as well as the frustration.  Having this disease sometimes makes me feel like I am crazy.  Sometimes I question if this is really real or if I have just lost my ever loving mind.  I often feel very alone in dealing with this.  It's not a disease that you can look at me and see that I am suffering.    

(wow I just really looked at this and realized that I have written a lot...guess what?  I am not done!!!!)

After having been diagnosed with Endometriosis for over five years, I am just now starting to really understand the disease.  I am just now connecting the dots from my disease to all of the other health problems that I have had over the years.  Endometriosis is an immune system and hormone disease.  It occurs when the tissue that lines the uterus is hanging out on the outside of the uterus.  This leads to adhesions, scar tissue, Endometrioma growths, pelvic pain, back pain, tummy troubles, organs sticking to other organs, frequent illnesses, infertility, fatigue.  The list is seriously huge and just keeps going.  The cause of Endometriosis is unknown.  There is also not a cure for it.  Isn't that exciting?!

And before you tell me that I have so much to be positive about.....I know that.  I have a beyond amazing husband who has been there through everything.  I have two incredibly beautiful kids who are truly a miracle because I was not supposed to be able to have children.  I have an awesome family.  I have a good job.

There are a lot of things that I can be positive about.  HOWEVER, when I am curled up in the fetal position thinking that my ovary is about to shoot out of my belly button and then wrap itself around my head.....the last thing I want to hear or think about is the positives.  All I want at that point is to wallow in the fact that I am in constant pain.  There is no relief.  There is no help.  Pain.

In all honesty, this post is me trying to wrap my head around this.  I needed to put it in writing and out there so maybe I could process this better.  We will see how this works out for me.

My incredible doctor emailed me some links that could provide more information and support for Endo.  I am putting them in this post in case you get intrigued and want to read up more on a disease that is affecting millions of women.  That's right.  MILLIONS.  2-4% of women have this awesomeness.  Oh, and did you know that March is Endometriosis awareness month?

http://www.endometriosisassn.org/

http://www.endofound.org/

http://www.endocenter.org/        

  Ok.  Now I am done.  Seriously!
  

Chubby cheeks

This week has been a crazy week. Erica's daughter Jamey got appendicitis, so she had to spend a lot of time at the hospital.  I had to work from home on Monday, and for some reason I have been all discombobulated. I felt like Wednesday was Friday. It should have been. Anyways, here is a picture of Mac doing what he call "making graham crackers" at Erica's. He is so funny!

 

 



Jami's mom sent a book that Jami had drawn in elementary school. She knew she was going to be a teacher from the beginning!

I am required by law to post these pictures of the kiddos in their Georgia gear with my beautiful wife.

Tonight, we turned on the baby monitor and this is what we saw:

So cute! And finally, we have come to the selfy portion of the tour:

Trick or Treat in the Heat

So...we live in Alaska.  In October it is often cold and there is usually snow.  Kids generally have to wear coats over their Halloween costumes.  Several years ago, a little boy had cancer and wanted to go trick or treat. He did not have much time left so a neighborhood decided to put together a Trick or Treat thing so he could have his wish.  That grew into a HUGE thing.  Now, you pay $10 for a wristband that the kids wear in order to go trick or treating and the proceeds are split between 3 charities that are children oriented.  The kids love it because they get to wear their costumes and get candy.  The adults love it because they get the see the costumes, steal their kids' candy, and they are helping to raise money for an amazing cause.  This past Sunday was this year's Trick or Treat in the Heat.  We ended up meeting the Marvel family to do it in the Bayshore neighborhood (it's split throughout 4 giant neighborhoods so it is spread out through town).  Mac had a blast!!!!!!

http://www.totith.org/

So stinking cute

Ok.  I have a confession.  I have the cutest kids in the world.  There are no other kids as cute as mine.  What makes them even cuter is how much they all time love each other.  Cutest kids EVER.

So I spent the majority of last week sick and with no voice and pretty much feeling like death.  I took a picture to document my awesome (hear the sarcasm) experience.  On Friday, I went home early and Bella snuggled with me all day. 

The kids spent some quality mommy and daddy time.  My heart is exploding with happiness (which is totally what I need after the super fun day I had).

And speaking of cute kiddos....check out Nora's adorable outfit today!  Old Navy has the cutest baby stuff!  Yes, she is rocking skinny jeans and ballet flats.  SO CUTE!

That adorable chunk also decided to grab a fistful of my hair.  Let me tell you....she has a GRIP.  She is a strong little chunk.

Check out how similar my kiddos look.  Here is a picture of Mac and Nora both @ 3 months....

Oh and another random point that is totally  not related to my adorable kids....Joe managed to get a little more painted on our deck.  Let me tell you that rain will just not go away.