4th time's the charm?

Tomorrow is a big day.  Tomorrow, I will be having my FOURTH surgery in SIX years.  True story.  I got to looking through Facebook around each previous surgery.  The outpouring of love and support through each and every surgery had me tearing up a little.  I am actually pretty calm going into this one.  It is crazy to think that on May 15, 2009 I had my first surgery and my first tumor.

While I am pondering all of these things, I am thinking about each and every one of my surgeries.  Kind of like a mental timeline.  Then I was like....well I will just put it out there.  I have no shame and I have no problem telling my business.  All of the blogs that I have read about Endo made me feel like I wasn't alone (it's easy to feel alone when you have an "invisible" disease, meaning you can't look at me and tell that something is wrong).  Maybe my blog post about Endo will do that for someone else.

Here it goes!

2009 (2 months before my wedding, true story)
I was having a lot of pain.  My mama dragged me to the hospital (I really really hate hospitals and needles so dragging is a true description).  Low and behold, my scans revealed a growth on my right ovary.  I was booked into the hospital and scheduled for surgery immediately.  That tumor was the size of Mr. Potato Head and weighed in at almost 6 pounds.  I have a massive 4 inch scar to prove it.

That was the start of my Endometriosis diagnosis.  I didn't know much about it except that it sucked and that recovery SUCKED.  I had to move back home.  I couldn't be alone.  I couldn't do anything by myself.  I remember being sooooooo excited to go back to my own house like a month later but then almost passing out just trying to shave my legs.  While reading my Facebook statuses around that time I stumbled upon this little gem.  Little did I know how UNTRUE it was.

YAY! the doctor cleared me! I am ok! there is only a 10% chance of it coming back! I can get in a pool and i can drink! YAY!!!!

Well, I could drink and I could get in the pool.  That 10% part?  It was a lie.  However, I did stumble upon another status that is the truth.  I made it my motto at the time.  

Tough times never last, but tough people do.

2012 (just over a year after having Mac)

I had a sharp jabbing pain that sent me over.  I knew immediately that something was bad but I am stubborn (imagine that) and waited for a couple of days before calling my doctor.  I figured if I didn't pay attention to it and I didn't talk about it then it wasn't real.  Guess what?!  It was back.  I had another almost 6 pound growth on my right ovary and this one had ruptured and I was bleeding pretty badly internally.  The cool thing about this time though is that I was going to have a laparoscopic surgery and it would be outpatient.  I wouldn't have to have another massive scar.  

They did an incision about half an inch long above each of my hipbones and one in my belly button.  My insides looked like a grenade had exploded.  My doctor had to take out my right ovary and right fallopian tube because it was so bad in there.  At my post op, I was told that I would not be able to have any more babies.  That was hard to hear.  I needed to remind myself about that touch people quote.

2014 (just 4 months after having Nora)

Being pregnant with Nora was like being in hell.  A lot of things went wrong and I had a really difficult pregnancy.  Delivery was super easy and I was like a rockstar superwoman.  However, I couldn't stop bleeding after I had her.  Four months later, I was still bleeding and having a lot of pain.  Back in for testing I went.  This time there was no tumor but it looked like my token ovary was stuck to something.  That happens a lot with Endo.  My doctor decided that I needed to have another surgery to try to clear up the Endo.  When they got in during the surgery, my Endo had changed. It looked like I had pepper sprinkled all over the inside of me.  My doctors did the best they could to clean everything out.

After the surgery, I went on Lupron Depot to try to gain control of my Endo.  Don't Google it.  It was miserable.  I had a ton of problems and complications.  Things rapidly went downhill.  The amount of medication I had to take was unreal.  The complications from the multiple medicines was also unreal.  I rotated between laughing and crying.  Sometimes it was so bad that it was like a movie (infections, side effects, kidneys shutting down).  When it was time for me to do the third round of Lupron, I said no and my doctor agreed.  There was two options.  I could go on trial medications or I could have surgery.  Big surgery.

2015 (one month before Nora turns one)
Tomorrow, I go in for hopefully my last surgery.  This will hopefully be the last time that Joe takes a picture of me drugged up and prepping for surgery.  Tomorrow, I will have a 3ish hour surgery.  Tomorrow, they will try to go through some of my previous scars laparoscopically to remove my left ovary and left fallopian tube and my uterus and my cervix.  Tomorrow, I will have a full hysterectomy at the age of 30.  Isn't that crazy?  Tomorrow will be the start of me feeling better.  Of me not constantly being in pain.  Of me not having the energy to do anything.  I will be able to be a better wife and a better mom.  I don't remember a time where I wasn't in pain.  I am looking forward to that.  My motto continues to be....

  Tough times never last, but tough people do.